How to bore your audience in 5 minutes

A funny look at what to do. :)

1. Speak on the same tone, do not use intonation!

2. Keep talking! Do not stop and do not use pauses for effect.

3. Keep visuals to the minimum! Just talk.

4. Do not move your hands. Even better, keep them in your pockets!

5. Look down or look at your notes. Do not attempt eye contact.

6. Keep it complex! The more details, the better! It really shows the audience that you are very smart.

7. Every chance you have, mention your credentials, your accomplishments and the awards you have received. People will trust you more and think they are lucky to listen to you.

Did I forget anything?